Hehaho.
 JieHui , BSS. "I just wanna be carefree". & Friends are my priority.▲ Just words,
Xtras,
|
First day w/o you. I felt so lost. Totally.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010. 8:07 PM
It's firstime in my life, w/o you. Life goes on , yes i know. But i still can't get over it. How come guys can changed drastically within days ? How come you'll leave me w/o telling me the reason ? I can't keep hangon , cuz in a r/s when one wants to leave, the other just can't do anything. How can you be so cruel & harsh to me ? How can you just fall for another person so fast & easily ? Why won't you react when you saw me mm infront of you ? Why won't you react when i cried at the stairs with girlfs and co. ? Why ? There's alot in my mind.You can see me laughing and smiling so happily , but deep inside i'm hurting. I'm trying to endure the pain infront of ppl. But i'm sorry , i breakdown again & i cried over and over again. Especially when i saw you came with that xiaozhu . & left tgt with her. When you came, i wanna cry but i hold back. After you left , i straight away cried on meatball's shoulder. Thanks babe, you're the one who's always been there for me, the one whom i always give attitudes to whenever i quarrelled with him lastime. & the one i ps & never accompany bcuz i wanna pei him lastime. But now , when i'm breakdown you're the one being there for me. Thou others too, and they'll just pat my head asked me not to cry anymore. When you're at your lowest, you'll gets to know who are the one really true to you. But how could he just treat me like transparent? And is like sitting behind junhui while playing poker? IF he still have those feelings why still break with me? I know i'm irritating to keep repeat this, but i can't control myself. & i think you never wear that ring anymore, not anymore. Maybe you threw it away. Do you know how hurts it is ? Everyone & you keep say it's for my own good. So what good is it then ? Leaving me now, and can you see how pathetic i am ? Crying wherever i am . Infront of you , i tried so hard to laugh and stuffs. I wanna cry , but i keeps holding back. & within my girlfs , i just knew they are not that strong at all , when they asked me not to cry. Deep inside them they also hurts bcuz of their own thing. I just hopes we girls can be stronger. Like boys , they dont shed a tears for anybody , even when it comes to r/s . Or rather , everything that happens to them. How can boys be so heartless ? Why do boys always use "I got another girl" , or "feelings fade" as reason for breaking up ? Why can boys hurts girls that much ? & why can't i get over it? Ppl say it's not worth , but i think you worth it. Ppl say i can find other guy and someone else better, but i beg to differ. It's you i wants. Just what so hard to make you come back to me ? Why you becomes a totally diff. person right now ? You're not that bendan i knew before , not that bibi when we're tgt before. I heard that xiaozhu lie on your shoulder. Ohyea, doesnt she feels any bit of guilty nor does she feels bad about it ? Other than crying idk what else can i do. How i wish i just sleep forever and dont ever wake up. How i wish i could rewind time . How i wish you're back as mine. I had a strong feeling that you still have those feelings for me (not bhb lar hor) , but you keep say there's a reason , so what is it , but you just wouldn't wants to tell me. You said before you wont leave unless i wanted to , but you just did ystd. You said you hopes to last more than a year with me, but we just ended ystd , & is 9months 3days. You won't reads my blog again , you won't tag me again, you won't sms with me for long hours again , you won't chat on phone with me at late night anymore , you won't bring me to your house again , you won't care for me again even if i die is also my prob , you won't accompany me anymore , you won't tells me where you are and doing & i'll keeps imagine this and that now , you won't tells me you are home alr, you won't tells me you love me anymore , you won't hug me anymore , you won't kiss me anymore , you won't hold my hands once more , you won't put me under your arms anymore. I can't get to taste your ahma's cooking again , i can't get to mj with you and your bro and his stead again , i can't get to be the one who's beside you now , i can't get to lie on your shoulder anymore , i can't get to hangout with you anymore, i can't get to see your fall asleep face anymore, i can't hear you sing for me anymore , i can't get close to you anymore, i can't be the one inside your heart anymore. We can't movie tgt anymore, even we does , it's with friends & you'll bring your girl along, we can't share anymore things tgt , we can't jokes around with each other anymore , we can't be part of each other's life anymore , we can't phone for hours talking about crap or even when we're just doing our own things but we're still on the phone , we can't take neoprints anymore, even if we do , we're just merely friends , we can't slack tgt and had lots of fun tgt anymore , we can't be the one that ppl will envy as we're being so sweet anymore , we can't go thru obstacles tgt with each other anymore , we can't buy anymore couple stuffs tgt anymore. Because of your selfishness, you break our r/s . Because you thinks breaking up with me will be for my own good, you break the heart of mine , Because.............. everything just happened , & what should i do now , when idk how to carry on with my life? Sighhh , i think i just writes alil bit too much . Since he won't even care, he won't even read this damn blog , why should i bother to write it all out? But i felt better writing everything out. Does he even rmbers he said that when we gonna breakup, just tells him , 说好的幸福呢 ? He'll be soft-heartened ? But i have never said to him. Will it still helps by telling him this now? I doubt so. |
Friends:)
AMANDA CHARLENE SWIETING HUIJUN YEETING
HUIMIN C.JIAXIN REGINA VIVIAN.L CHERYL XINYI ALOYSIUS CHAOMIN CHLOEE CHUANWAH EVANGENLINE IVY.W JIAHUI JIAXIN/LYNNE JIAQI JIEXIN JINGWEN JINWEN JOANNA JOANNE KAILENG KAIXUAN LUANA MEL MICHAEL QIANYA QINGYEW QIWEI SANDY SHAN REN SIYING STEPH JIEJIE SUSANNA SYLVIA TRICIA TSY WEILI YAOCHONG YENNY YINGZI YULIN |
